How to Build Self-Confidence

We are often told that confidence is something you have to earn, but the truth is that developing self confidence is something you have to work on every day. If you are struggling, know that there are ways to gain more information about yourself and your personality so that you can better accept who you are.

I) Re-gain confidence

With these tips, it won’t be long before you gain back your confidence.

• 1. Meditate for 10 minutes every day – Meditation is an excellent means for finding your inner beauty and strengthening the mind. It can also help you to gain more self confidence and be able to face life with more compassion.
• 2. Exercise 3 times a week  – there is plenty of evidence that it can lead to increased self esteem and confidence levels. Exercise also has the added benefit of improving your cardiovascular health, and it surprisingly helps you to sleep better at night.
• 3. Don’t rush taking a shower, this is a very  personal  moment and you want to make it count.  You should also at least spend 10 minutes getting ready before going out.
• 4. Set  morning  routines  –  The shower, brushing your teeth and hair can be done in the morning, followed by a nice breakfast and then some time to read the newspaper. Make this time a special part of your day and don’t take it for granted.
• 5. When buying gifts, ask yourself “would I like this?” If the answer is no, choose another option. And when you buy for yourself: buy something you would be happy to wear and use – don’t buy something just because it is popular or in style.
• 6. Make a list of  positive  traits and characteristics, which will help you and your friends  see the best parts of yourself. Write this down on a card and put it in your wallet to read whenever you feel down about yourself.
• 7. When someone compliments you, don’t wait for the compliment to be over to thank them. You are not just thanking them, you are acknowledging that you appreciate their opinion, and also letting them know that they have made an impact on your life.
• 8. Focus on remembering what you did well and don’t focus on your faults or failures too much when kicking off a project or starting a new job/ project/ relationship etc…
• 9. Don’t spend too much time on social media, it can make you focus on other people’s lives and make it harder for you to  appreciate  what you have. Try not to compare yourself with others as this will only make you feel worse about yourself.
• 10. Do something nice for someone else, to make yourself feel good about yourself and then do it again.
  keep doing it until you feel good about yourself and others will notice how positive you are.
• 11. Pretend you are a good friend of yours and write down your good advice to yourself, like “you can do it”, “don’t worry” etc, this will make you feel happier. Read “How to think positively”.
• 12. Understand that some people have to care about what others think and that is fine, because they don’t have the courage to be themselves. You are not one of these people, you know who you are.
• 13. Don’t get stressed when someone doesn’t like what you’ve created – in fact they might not be  interested  in the first place. Their opinion is not as important as you think. What matters is the effort you put into what you create.
• 14. Be proud of yourself and feel proud of what you have accomplished – it might not be much to some, but to others it could mean the world.
• 15. Learn to make friends and don’t avoid going to places where people have less education and are younger than yourself. Telling yourself and others that you are more educated, less caring and less interesting will only make you more judgemental.
  Have a good laugh at yourself once in a while – this will help you relax and see things from a different perspective.
• 16. Trust your inner voice – you know when something is right for you, it will be self-apparent. Bothering yourself to do something else because others think it is better will only make you feel that you don’t like yourself.
  When in doubt, listen to what your heart wants. As for your head, don’t listen too much – it can play tricks on you.
• 17. Know that you are a valuable person and that someone thinks so. You are important and that is all that matters, no matter what you look like or what you do.

II) How to be more confident

There are many ways you can increase self confidence, and the most important thing is to become aware of what you can do to better yourself. If you feel that something doesn’t fit, then change it! Do not let your fears get the best of you.

• A) The first thing than most people do is to overanalyse every little thing we do throughout the day: from little things like how fast we drink a glass of water, or how long we spend shaving or combing our hair, even down to the movies we watch and what we eat for breakfast. Now granted this may seem extremely petty and ridiculous but it does have an impact on our self image.
• B) Eat less – Unless you are a competitive athlete this will not help you. The smallest amount makes us feel full, and by eating less it will make you think more positively about your body.
• C) Sit straight and stand tall – we tend to slouch towards the end of the day, so sit up and stand as tall as possible. This will help with instilling confidence in yourself.
• D) Think of yourself as being strong – Think about how confident people around you are,  and how confident they act when performing a task etc… Think about how you want to be in future for example if you want to win a fitness competition then be persistent with your training regime and don’t let anyone distract from it.

III) What to avoid

Now that we know a few things to do to regain self-confidence, here is what not to do:

• A) Avoid any sort of self-talk that makes you feel bad, for example: “I am stupid or ugly.” Even if you do not believe the  statements  it can still have an impact on your self-confidence. Always avoid negative self-talk and   focus on the positive things instead.
• B) Posture – Slumped postures tend to make us look awkward and uncomfortable, so avoid this. Also don’t slouch, as it will make you feel worse about yourself.
• C) Avoid watching too much television – We tend to analyse ourselves when we watch television,  and when we are feeling down about how we look or how we act, watching television can make us feel worse. The same goes for social networks.
• D) Avoid comparing yourself with others – This is a very big one. We tend to compare ourselves with others,  and when we do this it makes us feel bad about who we are. Even the most beautiful celebrities have insecurities about how they look, so try not to compare yourself with others.
• E) Avoid negativity – Most negative things that get said can be hurtful and if you believe them it can really damage your self-confidence.  Avoid things like insults, gossip and anything that makes you feel bad about yourself. Avoid thinking negativily as well because it never helps anyone. Read “How to think positively”

You can be beautiful and confident, don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself or your abilities.
This is not meant to be a guide on how to deal with bullying, but rather a guide for those who have been affected by it. Bullying can be devastating on your self-confidence since you feel so worthless and helpless. However, there are things that you can do to make yourself stronger:

• Focus on the things that cause you to succeed rather than the ones that put you down.
• Don’t let bullies get to you. You know who you are and what your capabilities are.
• You will be stronger in the future, and although it may be difficult now, it will make you that much more confident when you’re older.

IV) Conclusion

Self-confidence is very important in life and when we don’t have it we tend to feel worse about ourselves. This also applies to body image, for example if you don’t feel good about how you look then you may think that no one does, even though this is not the case.
Trying the things mentioned in this article and avoiding those that are negative will only make you feel better about yourself and help improve your body image.