What your therapist can tell about you without you talking

Many therapists rely on body language to help them figure out what their patients are experiencing. They might ask a series of yes-or-no questions, watching the patient carefully for clues. They might also use specific cues, like the size and shape of a patient’s hands to track his or her emotions in real time.

Do therapists read body language?

Yes, therapists read body language in therapy. In fact, they probably do so more than you might imagine.  From the very beginning of therapy all the way through to their last session, therapists will generally read their patients’ body language the entire time.
It’s not just how a patient looks and walks that’s important, especially when it comes to reading body language – it’s also how he or she holds his or her hands and arms.  These body parts are as important to understanding emotions as the face. For example, a therapist might have a patient who is incredibly angry – but his or her hands are clenched together in front of him. This can mean one of two things:  either the patient is trying to restrain his or her anger, or perhaps he or she doesn’t realize how upset he or she really is.

How can I learn to read body language?

It may seem like a skill you’d have to be born with, but don’t worry – it’s not as tricky as it seems. The truth is that learning the basics of reading body language is actually quite simple. All you need to do is take a look at your own hands and arms whenever you are feeling a particular emotion. Pay attention to how your hands move, and try and mimic the same movements next time you are feeling an emotion. This will help you get the hang of it, and soon enough you will be able to read others’ body language as well as your therapist does.
If you want to learn even more about reading body language, you can always talk to a therapist yourself – they might give you some of their best tips. In fact, many therapists offer special training in this area and can teach people how to fully read body language in therapy so that patients don’t have any secrets.

What does body language tell a therapist?

Body language can provide a lot of information about a patient. It can tell the therapist if the patient is anxious or relaxed, aggressive or fearful. It can also tell therapists how engaged a patient is in the session and whether he or she is connecting emotionally with the therapist.

In addition, there is what therapists call “microexpressions.” These are very quick reactions to what is happening in the therapy session. They might be signs of discomfort, shifts in attention and shifts in emotion.

Therapists might also hear things like “Are you talking about me?” or “Are you attacking me?” Therapists can use these signals to figure out whether their patients are feeling like they’re being talked at or attacked.
When the patient looks towards the therapist, he or she might be seeking more words or could be unsure about what is being said.
When a patient responds to the therapist with a nod, it might mean that he or she agrees and wants to move on.
The body language of patients can also include things like looking down and away when they don’t want to talk about something or avoiding eye contact altogether.  Both of these are signs that the therapist should perhaps ask another question without pushing the patient too hard on an issue that evokes a negative reaction.

What types of body language?

Body language usually comes in two levels: a conscious level, which is what the patient is aware of, and an unconscious level, which takes place below the level of awareness. Body language can be conscious or unconscious depending on whether it’s practiced by a conscious person or an unconscious person.

When we talk about non-verbal communication we are mainly talking about:

Body position – This can be described by words like “anxious,” “relaxed” or “aggressive.” It can also be described by the distance the patient keeps from the therapist and whether he or she turns toward or away from the therapist.

Posture – This refers to how a person holds his or her body, including how shoulders are held or hunched. In addition, there is eye contact and movements of hands and arms.

Gestures – These are movements of the hands and face, such as pointing. There is also hand touching, hugging and gesturing in general. Gestures can be used to express feelings or show how a person thinks.

Eye movement – This refers to looking at someone and looking away, as well as the speed that a person makes eye contact.

Facial expressions – These are movements of the face that include expressions and other forms of nonverbal communication such as smiling or frowning.

What techniques are used in therapy?

Therapists use body language to:

Teach the patient to manage emotions and express feelings.  This can include using the five D’s -Describe, Demonstrate, Distance, Demonstrate and Describe. This is a process that helps patients learn about the dynamic between themselves and their therapist. The process begins with describing what is happening with the body language of a patient before communicating with him or her by demonstrating.

Check if the patient is listening to what the therapist says.  The therapist can do this by using a technique called “mirroring.” This is a process used to check whether the patient is engaged with the therapy session. If something is said to the patient and his body language does not change in response, then he might not be paying attention.

Check if the patient feels comfortable talking about certain things.  Sometimes a patient will reveal too much information that he or she is not ready to talk about. If a therapist notices this, he or she might change the topic by using body language techniques.

In psychotherapy, therapists use their nonverbal communication skills to create a therapeutic environment for patients. Specifically, therapists use nonverbal communication to engage patients and provide a therapeutic context for therapy.

Nonverbal communication is important in psychotherapy because it helps therapists understand what drives the patient’s behavior. In addition, nonverbal communication can function as a tool of persuasion between therapist and patient that creates an observable connection between the two parties.

Some gestures and their meanings

Lip biting. If a patient bites their lips, it’s because they are under stress and trying to hide something.

Tongue-tip licking. People who lick their tongue tip tend to be self-centered and behave in an egocentric way. Their main interest is their own person and they do not pay much attention to the others around them. They might also be trying to hide something or are nervous about the visit with a therapist.

Neck touching and/or hugging. Those who hug themselves or touch their neck tend to have problems with expressing their feelings properly and have difficulty communicating with others, especially when it comes to discussing topics related to love or commitment issues.

Shoulder shrugs. If a patient shrug his shoulders, it means that he is not sure about something or does not want to express himself about a certain topic. He might also be nervous about his session or anxious about what will happen next.

Head turning, eye blinking. Patients that turn their heads quickly are not happy and do not know how to deal with the topic being discussed in the session with their therapist. They might be preoccupied and want to avoid the subject at hand or they could be on the verge of tears and trying to suppress those feelings so as not to appear vulnerable in front of the therapist.

Staring at the therapist. Patients who stare at the therapist for too long tend to be very self-centered and egocentric. They are usually not happy with the therapist and are constantly arguing with them.

Tapping on the table. People who tap on the table are trying to express their frustration but they don’t know how to do so without being overly aggressive, so they use this alternative way of doing it.

Smiling or fake laughter. Patients who smile or laugh in an artificial way during the session tend to be self-centered and very egocentric, acting like they’re above everyone else in order to impress others with their abilities or intelligence.

Nail biting. People who bite their nails are usually stressed about something and are trying to keep themselves busy so as not to think about the problem at hand. They might also be nervous about a certain topic or feeling anxious in general.

Scratching the head. This gesture usually reveals that a patient is confused and trying not to reveal it during the session, pretending everything is okay while actually they’re having a hard time dealing with some situation or problem. They might also feel uncomfortable in front of their therapist or feel like they’re being judged during the session due to some inadequacy they have. The patient might also be under stress due to some family issues going on in their lives right now.

Looking down or avoiding the therapist eye contact. The eyes are the windows to the soul for a therapist, so if a patient avoids their eyes, it’s usually because they have something to hide and don’t want to be looked at by their therapist. They might also be nervous about revealing certain things during their session or trying not to appear weak in front of the other person.

Typical body language. Patients who dance while they’re in the therapy room, jump around a lot and move their hands in strange ways are usually anger-prone and lack motivation. They might also be very frustrated about something or just not happy about the topic being discussed at that moment.

Closing the eyes. Patients who close their eyes while talking tend to have problems expressing themselves properly and have difficulty communicating with others, especially when it comes to discussing topics related to love or commitment issues. They might also be nervous about their session or anxious about what will happen next.

Staring at the therapist instead of looking at other things. Patients who stare at the therapist for too long tend to be very self-centered and egocentric. They are usually not happy with the therapist and are constantly arguing with them.

 

Apart from being able to read body language, a good therapist is also a good listener, able to put aside their own feelings and judgments in order to be helpful to others. In addition, they need to be empathetic and able to detect lies while talking with their clients. People who want to become therapists must have great listening skills and the desire to help others in need of assistance in order to make a difference in other people’s lives. Furthermore, they must have the ability to tune out their own problems when listening attentively toward another person’s conversation.